bootyshortsforoldmen | Etraya: Inbox

TEXT • VOICE • VIDEO • ACTION
USERNAME: HANK

Hank here. I probably don’t give a rat’s ass what you have to say. Leave me alone. How the hell do I get this damn thing to stop rec — [BEEP]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Well OK. Guess we’re all just fucking peachy then.

[Hank’s not even sure what he’d break. Where he’d go. His own apartment first, sure.

But maybe that won’t be enough. Or maybe for once he won’t want to trash his own place.

A deep, deep sigh, then:]

Lay it on me

From:

levelshift

Okay.

[He pauses, his fingers twitching before he types out the message and sends it.]

Connor's gone.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

That’s

[It takes Hank a while to type even that. And then his clumsy ass manages to send just that one word.

Connor’s gone.

Hank remembers when Connor mentioned people leaving. Disappearing. And Gorgug, too.

But it’s not right, obviously. It’s not. It’s something else, because it has to be.]

The hell do you mean Connor’s gone?????

[Because he’s not gone-gone. Unless everyone’s been fucking with him, death — yet again — couldn’t keep Connor down.

So, what? Kidnapped, like Hank was? That’s gotta be it. Gotta be that fucking Eddie guy. But Connor could hold his own. He could.

He can.

And Hank knows, deep down, that it’s the stupidest question he could ask, but he still sends it:]

Where exactly has he gone then

From:

levelshift

[Accelerator patiently waits for all of Hank's texts to come in, gritting his teeth. All of this is total shit, he shouldn't be the one to deliver the news and Connor shouldn't be gone.

He tries to keep his texts matter-of-fact. It's easier to do so.]

No idea, but he isn't in Etraya anymore. A brat I know told me, and I confirmed it. I'm not screwing with you.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Gonna have to ask what the hell you mean by “confirmed”

I don’t think you’re fucking with me but I just

Need to know. Like there’s not some kinda weird guestbook is there??? Keeping track of everyone who comes and

Goes

From:

levelshift

[Okay, valid question. Accelerator doesn't mind answering this, because he doesn't care about people knowing about the computer's existence.]

I guess you can call it that.

There's a computer in the basement level of the hospital that has files on all of us. Medical, background information, that kind of thing. It isn't complete, and it's in some language that I don't think is from Earth. It isn't from my Earth, anyways.

There's a file on everyone in Etraya. When someone leaves, the file is removed. That's how I confirmed, I checked to see if his file was still there and it wasn't.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Of fucking course there’s a weird supercomputer keeping tabs on us

[Background information, okay — but medical? It’s annoying but also a mild comfort that Aurora, or Echo or whoever, is wasting even a fraction of time grabbing Hank’s medical history.]

So, 1. I’m guessing these weird files have pictures of the people they’re for then, since the files themselves are in some weird language

And 2. So I can just go down there and browse all these weird files and see for myself that he’s gone?

[Connor told Hank to stay away from the hospital. Or something like that. Said it’s dangerous.

Not that that matters anymore, really. If he’s gone.]

From:

levelshift

No pictures, I figured out a translation in my head since I had a general idea of what I was looking at. Connor was the one who told me about the computer, so he would've done the same thing.

[But faster and more efficiently, since he was likely working with more processing power.]

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

That sounds like him, all right

[All curious and poking his nose around, and...

It’s not like that’s to blame. Connor’s endless curiosity isn’t why he’s gone.

But Hank needs someone to blame. And he has that, really. Not that he ever doubted that. On the day he woke up in the hospital and saw Connor, he knew who to blame if anything were to happen to him.]

It just feels like he’s somewhere else. Which I guess is technically correct yeah?

But I mean it feels like he’s still here. We just can’t see him. Like he’s at the store or wandering around and I’m just gonna keep missing him forever, you know? Maybe by a minute or maybe by an hour and our paths are never gonna cross again but it’s like he’s here

I swear to god I’m not in denial

[Except he kind of is, really.]

It’s just hard to believe when he’s not here to say “hey I’m fucking off back to earth,” or whatever

[And it feels weird to thank Accelerator for this kind of news, but:]

Thanks for telling me. If you hadn’t, I mean, it’s not like anyone else would’ve.

From:

levelshift

[Accelerator isn't sure what to type back. Something like 'He probably isn't dead' seems silly, it's possible he could be, though chances are more likely that Echo just returned him back to his and Hank's universe. He does think Hank's in a bit of denial, but saying that wouldn't help.

He sighs heavily, dragging a hand down his face.]

Sorry.

[That feels dumb to send, but he does anyways.]

He wouldn't fuck off willingly, that much is obvious to me. It's bullshit that he's gone, he's a good person. Better than a lot of people still here.

[Better than himself, that's for sure.]

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Not your fault

[It’s mine, Hank doesn’t add. While he’s not sure how Accelerator might respond to that, he doesn’t want to fight about it. Just wants to let himself wallow in that guilt alone.]

He is a good person.

[The best, Hank thinks.]

Thanks for that too. Guess part of me was kind of thinking he’d want to go, and I know that’s not true but it’s not like he’s here to ask

I’m sure it’s like a zap when people disappear. But now I keep telling myself that if he really wanted to, he could’ve somehow let me know

It’s all fucked. Not even drinking and I still can’t think clearly

From:

levelshift

Yeah, it's really fucked. I don't think he would've had a chance to say anything before disappearing, I think you're right. One second you're here and another you're not.

[It doesn't get any easier. He'd like to tell Hank that, but he doesn't think the guy needs even worse information given to him right now.]

I don't know if breaking stuff will make you feel better but it's probably a good idea.

[Better than drinking himself into liver failure.]

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Suppose nothing would really make me feel better. Unless I could forget

[Which alcohol would help with.

But.

Connor wouldn’t want that. And Connor wouldn’t want him to aggravate Accelerator, either.

Not that Connor is here. With his goofy smile and his breaking Hank’s window and his way of making Hank feel like life might be worth sticking around for.]

Could I ask something?

[The words remind Hank of how Connor used to say: “Can I ask a personal question, Lieutenant?”

And Hank supposes he’ll be thinking of those little things a lot. Till they drive him up the goddamn wall, probably.]

From:

levelshift

[He fully expects Hank to go drinking, regardless of what he tried to get him to agree to. If he wants to forget that's the easiest path, and it'd take a lot of willpower to avoid it.]

What is it?

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Could you maybe tell me about him?

[Hank’s not sure what to ask for, exactly, but he wants to hear about what Connor was like. Here.]

Favorite memory or something like that

Was he happy here? I never got to ask I guess. I mean I know I hate it here but a lot of people almost seem to like it

I was real glad to hear that he had his own place. Whole ass apartment. Back in our world, he hadn’t really gotten a chance to live yet

I wanted here to be different for him.

From:

levelshift

[....... Oh, he is the absolute last person who should be having this conversation with Hank. At the idea of doing something emotionally healthy his brain kind of stalls out and he struggles to come up with a reply. He could very easily reply that Connor had people here who treated him like a person, something reassuring like that, but his fingers don't want to work.

There's a couple minutes before he manages to type something out and send it, and he instantly feels really, really stupid for doing so.]

One time he got infected and drained by some nanobots because he licked something he wasn't supposed to and got them on his tongue. Laura and Robin found him first, and since they're tiny brats they were dragging his body around because they didn't want to just leave him in the street.

It was complete nonsense. He appreciated the three of us helping him out, though.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

[Hearing about this incident of Connor’s disastrous licking feels both like a punch to the gut and something... comforting, oddly.

Because this memory is completely beyond Hank. He wasn’t here for this at all. And it’s silly to hear this now, albeit undoubtedly stressful at the time — he’s trying to imagine two kids dragging Connor around — but Connor lived. For however long he existed here on Etraya, he must’ve got to do all sorts of things. Got to lick things.]

Of course he was licking stuff he shouldn’t have. Always putting weird shit in his mouth

Thanks. For taking care of him. I’m sure that meant a lot to him. Just in general. It’s good to hear that people cared about him. Even if it was just to get him outta the street

Do you think people remember? When they leave here

[He realizes it’s a fucked up thing to ask after he’s sent it. A really fucked up thing.

At least he’s not drunk so he has the awareness to apologize at all.]

Sorry

I just

I’d like it if he did. Remember you

From:

levelshift

[.... Somehow, it isn't surprising to hear Connor was licking things back in his own universe. That's ridiculous, and Accelerator hates that he and Hank can't tease him about it now.]

I don't know. Maybe it's possible. Our bodies don't get fucked with when we're brought here, so I don't think there are physical side effects to multiversal travel. I don't see why the electrical signals in our brains that constitute our memories would get screwed around when they rest of our bodies don't.

[That is a very nerdy way of saying he's kind of hopeful they all retain their memories of their time here. Or at least, he hopes Connor retains memories of certain people.

Not necessarily himself, because he is garbage and Connor is really better off forgetting him.]

It'd be nice if he remembered Laura and Robin. Laura cared about him a lot when she was here, and Robin still does.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Don’t mean to be offensive here, kid

[A rare occasion!]

But you’re kinda reminding me of myself right now

Laura, Robin, sure. I trust you on that.

But you obviously mattered to him too. Would be an idiot if I said otherwise.

Don’t know Laura or Robin, but between you and me I think you knew him best

From:

levelshift

Oh, fuck off.

[He doesn't mean it, this is just getting uncomfortably personal and he doesn't want to touch any of the associated emotions with a ten foot pole.]

I doubt I knew him very well. He was just tolerable.

Look, I need to go. I have no idea how Robin deals with loss and he's a little kid, so I need to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Fuck you too kid

[Even if Hank had the heart to mean that right now — which he doesn’t — he’s not sure he could.]

Might’ve been tolerable to you but I’m sure you meant a lot to him

[And, Hank doesn’t know Robin but he’s pretty damn sure Connor would appreciate the following, so:]

Take care of Robin.

From:

levelshift

[He doesn't respond to that. He can't. He doesn't want to think about what Connor's opinion of him was, and how now that he's gone he can't ask him.]

Remember what we agreed.

From:

bootyshortsforoldmen

Oh you bet I will

[He’s gotta be a smartass here, waving away Accelerator’s insistence — concern? — but still.

Oddly, Hank doesn’t intend to drink. He’d like to, sure. But that feels... too easy. Like he’d be doing a disservice to Connor’s memory — god, it’s not like he’s dead — if he does end up drinking.]

You remember what I said too.

[Although Hank’s sure blathered on a lot recently, hasn’t he?]

About Connor. And about learning to live again.